you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
