YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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