I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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