..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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