I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
