Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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