Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
