just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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