a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
