your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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