So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize