Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
