Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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