Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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