Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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