She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
