why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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