yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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