You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize