i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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