The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
