after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
