I wanna passion pit in your ass
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
