How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Randomize
