Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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