Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
