he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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