I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
