so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
