You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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