you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
