well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
