I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
