i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
