she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
try to milk me bitch
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
