I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
