Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
