Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize