We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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