I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
