Whod you bang
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
