I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Where did you get a picture of my penis
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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