when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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