Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
