when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
