I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
