the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
