Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
