saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
