No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
