ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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