Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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