it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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