my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
