i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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