Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
