apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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